End of Year: Search results and… WTF?

We here at Dorkadia are so happy that you found us on our small parking lot of the interwebs, and are always curious what search lead you to our site! We like to comb through the search strings that led to people clicking on our page, and often times we wish we could have responded to the questions asked. With that in mind, we present: End of year Dorkadia search results, our answers, and our confusion!

“omg i’ve never seen a dick so big!” Charles: Bless you guys for actually using an exclamation mark in your search terms. Also, I feel sorry for the abject disappointment of the poor people (yes, multiple) that ended up getting an article about Toy Story.

“lightning and village” Jon: If Reuben ever gets the chance to produce a metal album we now know the name.

“ikea cash flow chart” Hannah: It’s here we discover Megan’s side job – making the world’s easiest flow charts. ‘Buy cheap yet stylish furniture -> Ikea gets money-> Ikea makes commercials with adorable animals.’

“swtor free to play medical probes” Reuben: I’ll just pay the monthly fee, thanks.

“айсберг” Nick: How the fuck did someone get to our site by searching for iceberg in Russian?

“explain cards against humanity” Megan: I imagine this search was someone with very little imagination. Might I suggest you pick up apples to apples first and work your way up to the magic and horror that is Cards Against Humanity?

“mmo rpg” Charles: Some people clearly do not give a fuck how vague their search is, they will damn well find something.

“tabletop crane games” Jon: Might I suggest Constructions & Contractors?

“pax prime 2012 swag bag line” Hannah: Remember that movie 127 Hours, where James Franco sawed off his own hand? Don’t bother with a google search, just watch that if you want to know what the swag bag line was like.

“in the death world games” Reuben: Fuck you, Hunger Games! We’re going to eleven!

“ty franck” Nick: Yes Franck. Thank you.

“lego lord of the rings tom bombadil” Megan: I have never been so happy in my life when I learned that they were cutting this guy from the movies – Why on earth are you searching for him? WILL THE SONGS NEVER END??

“the hobbit so awesome movie” Charles: Clearly some people already know exactly what kind of reviews they want to read.

“saladin halloween costume” Jon: Either this guy typo’d dressing up as as holy warrior or he has his sights set on dressing up appropriately to capture Damascus. (Either is acceptable.)

“duke nukem forever curse words” Hannah: I think this says everything you need to know about fan reaction to this game.

“the geatest assassin” Reuben: Beowulf, obviously.

“gently owl” Nick: Nay, owl, do not go gently into that good night, rage, rage against the dying of the light.

“3d model milf” Megan: You must have been kinda disappointed when you found our 3d commentary was just on the Reaper miniatures kickstarter, huh?

“yale imaginary cartography” Charles: Okay, I had to put this one into Google myself and after 15 pages of results I still have no idea how anyone found us with this one. Please come back again!

“pax+is one day enough” Jon: NO

“what will happen if you don’t feed animals in farmville 2” Hannah: Now that you mention it, I think George Orwell wrote a strat guide about a very similar topic.

“hellblazer this mount” Reuben: This seems like part of a joke that someone didn’t think all the way through. “Hellblazer? I hardly know ‘er!”

“where can i get free video games for giving my opinion” Nick: We are wondering exactly the same thing. Let us know if you find out.

“the geatest assasin” Megan: I’m going to have to say ezio auditore – but I think there is room for argument here.

“what to write in for cards against humanity” Charles: That’s a very personal choice, but might I suggest “a unicorn having a seizure” or “cotton candy of the damned” for white cards and “Why are my intestines suddenly on the floor?” for black. You’re welcome.

“swtor free to play sucks” Jon: YES

“small mouth when i was in highschool – but that’s right up there with sailor moon fanfiction on the list of ‘things we don’t talk about’.” Hannah: The first rule of having been a teenage fangirl: we don’t talk about being a teenage fangirl. (but my sailor moon fanfic epic was a deconstruction and then reconstruction of the magical girl genre complete with Biblical quotes and Evangelion crossovers OKAY?)

(literally seven different variations on “map of Joe Abercrombie’s setting”) Reuben: THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, JOE

“disney fuck games” Nick: There is just nothing I can add to this to improve it.

“the one rulebook to rule them all” Jon: …and in the darkness perfect bind them get it perfect bind I’ll let myself out

Thanks for a good 2012, we look forward to a new year and just as imaginative stuff to bring you to Dorkadia.  Cheers!