The Gamer Girl – Part 1
I’ve got Gamer Girl titled part one, because i’m sure i’ll come back to this topic!
I met someone new at a work function this past week, and we were talking about gaming since our interests overlap there. When he realized I like games he gave me that squinty eye look and asked “what kiiiiiind of games do you play?” I answered that I play mostly PC games, but I do bounce around a number of consoles. Clearly I passed some kind of litmus test, and he was gaining more and more confidence when I could call out why I particularly don’t care for FPS games, and that my sweet spot is fantasy RPG’s (I’ll talk about DragonAge for days if you let me). After about 10 minutes back and forth he let slip this little gem: “Well, I had to ask what kind of games, because you know, so many girls are calling themselves gamers and all they play is Words With Friends”. I politely wrapped up the conversation and walked away.
There are so many levels that kill me here. When I observe first hand introductions like this with my husband and other guy friends – there isn’t the skeptical question of what kind of gamer they are – which could actually be a valid question as we are split between PC, Tabletop, board games, etc! There isn’t some sort of test they have to pass. But I personally, and other women I know, get questioned regularly if I say I like to play games. It’s as if the boys only club was forced to let in all the girls, but we are trying to figure out which ones we need to get cootie shots from first before you get to learn the secret handshake.
Also, who the hell cares if you DO like mobile games? I get the initial knee-jerk reaction, but that needs to go away now. I too grew up where someone playing solitaire on their computer wasn’t someone that I would immediately put in the same circles as those of us playing Mortal Kombat. When I got older and my cousin 14 years my junior told me she was into gaming and wanted some recommendations, I did the same squinty eye look at the email, and judged her – and immediately felt shitty for it. Who the fuck cares what games she plays? If she likes Candy Crush, more power to her! She likes to play games, and wants to consume more – and that’s pretty rad because hey, that’s what I like too! (As it turns out, she bounces between FPS and 3rd person story AAA titles games – so my assumptions were way off) News reports like this are coming out regularly talking about how more and more women are getting into gaming – this one calling out an elderly population and educational games for young kids. How awesome would it be, being able to chat with your Nana about the new app she got over Thanksgiving dinner, instead of trying to explain why you still haven’t given her great grand babies yet? Or when that 14 year junior cousin grows up and she wants to play Portal for the first time over at your place? Getting girls in gaming no matter what kind of gaming it is, is pretty damn awesome in my book. Mobile games are fun – though not my bag.
In the end, this dude ruffled my feathers because it was just another example of my gender playing a role in a hobby that gender shouldn’t matter in. It doesn’t have the excuse about how physically different the sexes are and why we should be different like physical sports claims. Girls are regularly questioned about their interest in the hobby, what specifically about the hobby they are interested in, and then how well they compare in scores to other people. People are looking for flaws, and that’s shitty. So i’m making a call to action for myself here moving forward. I’m going to proudly tell everyone that i’m a gamer. My gender doesn’t matter one bit in that. If they question the validity of that statement, i’ll push back. Hard. Hopefully i’ll change some minds! Now, i’m going to send my mom a code for a Wheel of Fortune app for her tablet I think she’ll like, and check out some FPS’s on the Summer Steam sale to get for my cousin. Cheers!
You really got to chill on the subject, I myself question either Men or Women what type of ‘gamer’ are you. It’s really hard to explain on a subject when feminism takes toll, which is what you need to calm yourself down.
For me, it doesn’t make a damn difference if you’re a dude or a chick playing Battlefield, World of Warcraft or even League of Legends, but that’s just it, my judgement comes for people that ‘play’ mobile games like Candy Crush or Angry Birds and call themselves gamers since most (not all) of them are complete jerkbags, douches or hipsters.
I haven’t met a single person that when they introduce themselves as ‘gamers’ that only play these type of games were not the kind of people that were either bullies or dipshits in high school that made fun of us ‘real gamers’, geeks or even nerds.
Men AND women chilling on the subject is not helpful. Telling women to calm down suggests that the double standard we face is exaggerated or non-existent – and I assure you it is there, as I experience it myself. Sticking your head in the sand might allow you maximum enjoyment of your privilege with the minimum amount of guilt, I disagree that it is a reasonable or viable solution. What is it about playing a mobile game that makes someone not a “real gamer”? It’s an imaginary line in the sand that only serves to make one side look elitist – and more like a jerkbag, douche, or hipster like you insinuate mobile gamers are.
As much as mobile/social/casual gaming is not my “thing” and very different from console/PC/AAA gaming – the fact that somebody enjoys playing games and considers themselves a gamer is not for us to critique. Furthermore if a woman, man, young person, old person, straight or gay person says they are a “gamer” why do we have to question it? If you’ve been to a big conference like PAX, you will see all kinds of games geared to many differet audiences: AAAs, indies, RPGs, social/mobile, FPS, board games etc. To the gaming industry, anybody who plays a game on any platform or device is a gamer. They dont care what kind of gamer we are as long as we pay for their products. Why should we care then?